Toby Messer, NCPS
11 years in practice
Toby Messer is a psychotherapist who combines practical tools with deeper reflection.
License and registration
- NCPS
- NCS15-01812 · expires August 2026
- Years in practice
- 11
- Languages
- English
Details are as listed on the therapist's public professional profile. You can check the registration with the body that granted it.
About Toby
Toby Messer is a psychotherapist who combines practical tools with deeper reflection. He focuses on helping people understand why they feel and behave the way they do, and then works with them to make changes that matter now. He uses Existential therapy to look at life meaning, choice, and responsibility.
That approach helps when people feel stuck, overwhelmed by change, or unsure about what matters to them. Toby also draws on cognitive behaviour methods to spot unhelpful thinking and build different habits.
Background and approach
In sessions he aims to be direct and curious. Conversations are geared towards identifying patterns and trying out new ways of coping. He balances short-term strategies with conversations about longer standing issues so change can last.
Toby has 11 years of experience and holds the NCPS credential. He works with a wide range of concerns including stress, anxiety, depression, grief, relationship and intimacy-related issues, addictions, ADHD, and career challenges. He also supports people with body image, chronic illness and caregiving stress.
Sessions are offered in English and can be arranged for international clients. He offers video calls, phone sessions, live chat, and text-based messaging to fit different needs. To begin, a quick matching questionnaire helps connect people and plan the next step.
Focus areas and approaches
Everything Toby lists on their public professional profile, in their own terms.
- Stress, Anxiety
- Relationship issues
- Grief
- Self esteem
- Depression
- Addictions
- LGBT
- Family conflicts
- Trauma and abuse
- Intimacy-related issues
- Eating disorders
- Sleeping disorders
- Parenting issues
- Anger management
- Career difficulties
- Bipolar disorder
- Coping with life changes
- Coaching
- Compassion fatigue
- ADHD
- Abandonment
- Aging and geriatric issues
- Antisocial personality
- Attachment issues
- BDSM, kink, and alternative sex culture
- Blended family issues
- Body image
- Cancer
- Caregiver issues and stress
- Chronic pain, illness, and disability
- Codependency
- Commitment issues
- Communication problems
- Control issues
- Coping with natural or human-caused disaster
- Dependent personality
- Disruptive Mood Dysregulation Disorder (DMDD)
- Dissociation
- Divorce and separation
- Domestic violence
- Drug and alcohol addiction
- Eating and food-related issues
- Emptiness
- Family of origin issues
- Family problems
- Fatherhood issues
- Fertility issues
- First responder issues
- Forgiveness
- Gender dysphoria
- Guilt and shame
- Hoarding
- Hospice and end-of-life counseling
- Impulsivity
- Infidelity
- Isolation / loneliness
- Jealousy
- Life purpose
- Men's issues
- Midlife crisis
- Veteran and Armed Forces Issues
- Money and financial issues
- Mood disorders
- Multicultural concerns
- Narcissism
- Obsessions, compulsions, and OCD
- Panic disorder and panic attacks
- Paranoia
- Personality disorders
- Phobias
- Polyamory / non-monogamous relationships
- Postpartum depression
- Post-traumatic stress
- Pregnancy and childbirth
- Process addiction (porn, exercise, gambling)
- Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD)
- Self-harm
- Self-love
- Sex addiction
- Sexual assault and abuse
- Sexual dysfunction
- Sexuality
- Social anxiety and phobia
- Trichotillomania
- Workplace issues
- Young adult issues
Approaches Toby names
- Existential Therapy
- Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)
- Attachment-Based Therapy
- Client-Centered Therapy
- Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)
- Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT)
- Jungian Therapy
- Mindfulness Therapy
- Motivational Interviewing
- Psychodynamic Therapy
- Solution-Focused Therapy
- Trauma-Focused Therapy
- Systemic Therapy
Naming an approach is not evidence of training in it. This directory copies what each therapist lists and does not check training records.
Online support
Approaches that suit online therapy
Existential therapy looks at meaning, choice and responsibility in life. It helps when people feel stuck, face big life changes, or want to clarify what matters to them. Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, or ACT, focuses on noticing thoughts and feelings while committing to actions that reflect personal values; it is useful for anxiety, low mood and coping with change.Attachment-Based Therapy pays attention to how past relationships shape current connections and emotional responses. It can help with trust, communication and patterns that keep repeating in close relationships. Toby will work collaboratively to find the right mix of approaches based on what a person needs and prefers. Choosing a therapeutic style is part of the work together, and adjustments are made as goals and circumstances change.
Online therapy offers practical flexibility. Video calls let people use visual cues and longer conversations. Phone sessions work when bandwidth is limited or a quieter setup is needed. Live chat and text-based messaging suit shorter check-ins, ongoing coaching-style support, or times when writing helps express thoughts more clearly. These options make it easier to fit therapy around work, family and travel while keeping the focus on meaningful change.
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Questions people ask
What kinds of problems does this therapist help with?
Toby supports people with stress, anxiety, depression and grief. He also works with relationship and intimacy issues, addictions, ADHD and career concerns, among many other topics.
How would you describe his therapeutic style?
He combines an existential eye for meaning with practical, cognitive behaviour strategies. Sessions balance reflection about life choices with hands-on tools to change unhelpful patterns.
What is his professional background?
Toby has 11 years of experience as a psychotherapist. His practice blends analytical thinking with behavioural approaches to support lasting change.
Where is he based and what credential does he hold?
He is based in the United Kingdom and lists NCPS as his credential on professional records.
Which languages are sessions offered in?
Sessions are offered in English. He also accepts clients from other countries.
What session formats are available?
Toby offers video calls, phone sessions, live chat and text-based messaging. Different formats suit different routines and communication preferences.
How are costs handled for sessions?
Costs vary with location and therapist availability. Sessions are part of a subscription that can be cancelled at any time.
How do I start therapy with him?
Begin by selecting the Start Therapy button and completing a short matching questionnaire. You can then schedule sessions according to the therapist's availability.
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